Holiday shopping is better with coffee :) #presents #coffee
Where everybody knows your name 🎶#cheers #exceptnot #coffeeshop (at Northern Pacific Coffee Company)
IM GONNA CRY
- Douche: hey
- Nice girl:
- Douche: HEY
- Nice girl: what?
- Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick
- Nice girl: excuse me?
- Douche: yeah, it should say choking hazard lol *hi fives bros*
- Nice girl: isn't that a label they put on small objects?
women who had period cramps before pain killers were invented were metal as fuck let’s give them a standing ovation
A round of menopause.
It was a difficult period of history for everyone
theres nothing i dont like about this picture
People hate that I flip two cigarettes
Upside down in each pack
But I hate that people notice
When you gain three pounds,
But not when you buy a new hat.
I’ve been told that the way I sleep
With one leg draped over
The person lying next to me
But I think it’s annoying
When people tell me
I look pretty,
But only when I paint my face.
I’ve heard that old men
Like to touch the girls who work late at bars,
But I want to know
Why they never kiss the women they married
forty-two years ago.
I’ve noticed that mothers teach their daughters
That it’s rude to refuse a hug
From an uncle they’ve met three times,
But forget to teach them
That they aren’t obliged to kiss
The boy who paid for dinner.
THIS AIN’T A SCENE, IT’S A
WE’RE GOING DOWN DOWN INANULLIARAN
AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGIN’
I’LL BE YANUMBAWAH WITHABULLIN
ALLUDIGA CORNFLAKES COCKITENBOOLIT
DANCE DANCE, WEFALLEENAPAH DOO HURRDAH
DANCE DANCE, ANEEZADA LIES YOU LUVDALEEB
This has made me realize 90% of old Fall Ouut Boy songs wouldn’t need to be changed into Simlish for a Sims game.
They can’t hurt me. I’m not like the rest of you. There’s no one left I love.
Just a friendly reminder that animals will FUCKING KILL YOU given the chance.
except the manatee. the manatee just wanted to say hi